[catsbeaversandducks]

How about some baby flamingo love? 💕

*Copyright protected 2018* Owner Gretchen Mogensen

[accio-shitpost]

my girlfriend wanted more than the amount of children you can adopt in skyrim so she taught herself how to mod it so that you could adopt them all, and uploaded it to a skyrim modding community so other likeminded player could utilize her code.

months later, an update was added to skyrim that was basically her code, verbatim, lifted directly from the mod, without credit or even permission. this made her so angry that she, at age seventeen, booked a flight to maryland, went to bethesda headquarters and demanded to see todd himself to yell at him.

of course, she was immediately denied this request and escorted out of the building because she was a scary six foot seventeen year old canadian lesbian who had flown all the way to yell at a man who probably had no idea her code was stolen, but she is still legitimately, 100% furious with him to this day

i fucking love her.

[welovegamingz]

wow… just wow

[rosenrot234]

The crazy bastard did it. I was on the forums when this dude started

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

did i ever tell you guys about that time i gave my sister 2000 nickels for her birthday

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

special ordered them from the bank

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

nice to know that in a world full of change, tumblr still has no idea how numbers work

[uncreative-lesbian-fangirl]

thats…thats $100, right? 

[apharc]

@ you weebs

2,000/10=200

Two hundred dollar power move

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

#Math is literally the only thing i have going for me  #It’s my bragging right  #Even Gaud can’t take that away

You divided by 10. 10 is for dimes

[hufflepuff-writer]

Y'all. 2,000 nickels is $400. 2,000÷5. It equals $400.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

i’m crying. no, no it doesn’t

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

the answers keep getting worse better

[tk-senpai]

i like how you just decided to give your sister 2 kg of copper and nickel.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

no it was 10kg (22 lbs). a nickel weighs 5 grams. you people really are terrible at this

[personalgrowthforsale]

I felt now was a good time for the memes-of-the-year recap:

[thehufflepuffshuffle]

[thehufflepuffshuffle]

OH MY GOD

[pissvortex]

my papa johns delivery driver just got into a fight with my bus driver i wish i was fucking kidding

[pissvortex]

ok jesus christ people were recording it and everything give me a minute

[pissvortex]

ok so here i am, waiting in the lobby of my residence hall for my small pepperoni pizza, and i hear loud ass honking like incessant angry beeping so my immediate thought is oh fuck the delivery driver parked in the bus lane and i get out there and the bus driver is fucking knocking on the driver’s window screaming at her to move and i couldn’t tell what the delivery driver was saying but i realized that i needed to get that fucking pizza so that the delivery driver would drive away as soon as possible.

so i go up to the delivery driver and say yeah uhhh that’s my pizza i think and she’s like excuse me one moment and she gets out of her car and starts screaming “I AM NOT THE ONE. GET OUT THAT BUS RIGHT NOW IM GONNA FUCKING BEAT YOUR ASS” (paraphrasing but still) and i am fucking panicked im looking around and there’s just a crowd of students recording this shit with me standing in the middle like booboo the fool.

the delivery driver goes up to the bus and i hear a loud fucking smack and the bus driver starts driving forward and saying she’s calling the police while the students are like “oh shit she’s about to run her over”

 the delivery driver goes to her car and opens her trunk and im thinking jesus christ it’s going to happen i am going to cause a fucking murder but instead she pulls out my pizza and says “are you (insert name)?” and i was said “Yes. uh I paid the tip online.” and she was like alright and started walking back to her car.

at that point i dont know what the fuck happened because i just took the pizza and powerwalked the fuck away but i am hoping and praying that they just fucking drove away afterwards

[pissvortex]

[bloggoth]

poor old granny scorpion-shoes. no one ever saw her death coming

[bloggoth]

it was pneumonia.

[bloggoth]

yes, her pet scorpion pneumonia, who lived in her shoe. tragic.

[bloggoth]

he shot her point blank

[alia-andreth]

Hmm

Well RIP Thomas Turd.

Oh look, they even have a short list!

Now this changes everything.

#let Thomas Turd say sard 2k18.

[diligentpsychopomp]

It certainly does change everything

[transpondster]

[post--grad]

to my student who emailed me today asking if she should title her essay “what does grendel eat for breakfast? danish” or “no arm, no foul,” thank you. you don’t know that i was in the middle of hashing out how i’m handling your classmate’s intentional plagiarism, but receiving that email reminded me that some of you take your teenage rebellions in the right direction, and i love u for that.

[shiftythrifting]

you know what time it is babey!!!

[tranarchist]

They did surgery on a grape

How to make high-tech pies sound really old

[lewisandquark]

A while ago I made a bunch of new pies. Well, I didn’t *make* them because they were neural network invented titles and although it tried to imitate the list of pies I gave it, the neural net’s imitations are imperfect.

The neural network, after all, is a computer program with about as many neurons as an earthworm. It doesn’t understand what the ingredients are, or why some combinations don’t work. Some of its titles were intriguing, though. They sounded mysterious. Potentially delicious and/or magical?

Or maybe it just helps that they’re vague. I decided I wanted more like these. To help it along, I spiced up the pie dataset with the names of cookies and apple varieties from the 1905 edition of Apples of New York. I filtered the names for those that had possessives: Mcaffee’s Nonesuch, Cornell’s Savewell, Wile Ox’s Winter (all apples), combined with Goldy’s Dungeon Bars, Esther’s Bracelets, and Fido’s Rewards (all cookies). Then, to give it added old-school flavor, I added all the Dungeons and Dragons spells that had possessives as well (for example, Ivy’s Irresistible Scent, Freedom’s Toast, and Leomund’s Tiny Hut).

I arranged the training data so the pies would be last (so they would be freshest in the neural net’s virtual mind). Then I gave it one single look at the data.

It turns out that I didn’t manage to prevent the neural net from coming up with bad ideas. Perhaps what I should have done instead was remove all the meat pies from the training data.

But some of the pies were exactly what I’d hoped for.

And some even went a little past “ancient” and into “legendary”

This week’s bonus material: a few more pies, including some that were inexplicably PG-13.